What Do I Know of Holy?

Well I survived blog number one and found it to be quite refreshing. But it's funny because with blogging I think you have to make a conscious decision that you are either going to be completely transparent or you're not. What if my family members read this? What if my Christian friends read it and find offense at something? What if my non-Christian friends read it and think I'm a holy roller? What if an old friend reads it and thinks "Is she talking about me?!" In all actuality few people will probably read, few will judge, few will give what I write a second thought. Transparency can be so challenging, because it makes us vulnerable. This state of transparency and of vulnerability, of willingness to be open and authentic, is where God wants us to be. This is where He can come in and fill us up, because we are willing. Because we are not blinded by fear of what people will think or say... I think one struggle I've had since choosing to follow Jesus (in high school) is that I do worry too much about what others will say or think about me. This has impacted my walk with God is so many ways. I've put Him in a box at times, not allowing Him to show me all He can do and all He is because I was afraid of fully diving in and giving my all in order to become more like Him, more "holy."

This week I discovered a group called Addison Road. There is a song that when I first heard it goose bumps came and tears came to my eyes at the realization that they were words from my own heart. Below are the lyrics...I attached a link to YouTube for the audio but there are no pictures (intentionally) because I want the emphasis to stay on the lyrics...

What Do I Know of Holy? -Addison Road

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS-bRarAZ2g

I made promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made you too small
I never feared you at all No,
If you touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

Chorus

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean?
Are you fire? Are you fury?
Are you sacred? Are you beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of holy?


I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You are mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

Chorus

What do I know of holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your Name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

Chorus

~
Wow. Some songs have a way of knocking you on your butt, making you sit and think about where you are in life. This song did this to me. The technical structure of the song and vocals mixed with the lyrics is just beautiful, and moving, which is why I also added the link. I am excited to say that God has really been on the move in my little family in the last couple of months. And yet when I heard this song I realized how I still had not allowed myself to really dive in, be transparent and authentic with God, and to allow Him to show me who HE is. It has been all about me, and how I want to grow in my spiritual walk, how I want to serve more...this is all great, but how do I genuinely, fully do that? My "walk" is with a HOLY God...by walking with Him means that I live with Him, talk with Him, LISTEN to Him, try to be like Him. The word "holy" can be so intimidating. And so can the image of God that so many people have. What is the image I have? What is my holy God really like? I know about all the amazing things He has done, and I've seen Him work in the lives of people...and yet how well do I really understand His level of Holiness? Is it even possible? Some things are just beyond comprehension, right? And yet when I see sunsets in the mountains, or watch the waves at the ocean, or see a newborn baby be born, I get this sense of wow...how could anyone not believe that there is a HOLY God out there... What is YOUR view of God? Is He fire? Is He fury? Is He sacred? Is He beautiful?